Oh what a difference a year makes!
A year ago my daughter was a walking skeleton at 93 lbs.
A year ago she was telling me what music she wanted played at her funeral.
A year ago I prayed Bella was old enough to remember her mother.
A year ago I had nightmares of finding my daughter dead when I went down to check on her.
A year ago she was placed in palliative care and I was told it was the last step before hospice.
A year ago I was clinging to hope by bloody fingertips.
A year ago I cried everyday, several times a day.
A year ago the doctors talked to me in hushed tones telling me Brandi had no quality of life and her body was too sick, too tired to continue fighting.
A year ago I wondered how long we'd have before we were rushing Brandi back to the hospital. It was normally a matter of days but never longer than two weeks.
A year ago we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of Brandi's diabetic alert dog, praying her intervention could keep Brandi alive until she was well enough to receive a pancreas transplant.
Today Brandi is a healthy weight and she looks amazing.
Today she is able to have outings with her daughter, not many, but even one every month or two is significantly more that what she had.
Today Bella no longer asks me if her mommy is going to die.
Today Brandi smiles and laughs. She has tickle fights with Bella and she's able to attend family functions more often than not.
Today, every day isn't filled with gut wrenching fear. We still have fearful moments but it doesn't rule our lives anymore.
Today Brandi is planning to have a spine stimulator implanted to help manage the pain she has from all her herniated disks. She's at the end of the process that we had to scrap two years ago when her health rapidly declined.
Today she's getting things ready for her child to start school, another dream we didn't think she'd live long enough to see.
Today is a day I never thought I'd see.
Thank you to all our family and friends who have sent daily prayers on her behalf. Thank you sweet Jesus for bringing us Hope, because her arrival is when everything started changing. Thank you Dr. Raju for the tremendous love and care you've given my daughter. Thank you my darling Brandi for being the fighter you are, for continuing to fight when you wanted to give up and thank you God for answering our prayers.
Brandi still fights, still takes obscene amounts of insulin and other medications to keep her alive and keep her pain under control. My baby is a warrior, the strongest person I have ever known. Although each day continues to be a battle for her, we know its a battle she WILL win!-
Brandi, you are a true warrior and hero in my eyes. Someday soon I hope to travel the short 4 hour road trip out to STL to see your family.
ReplyDeleteTanya you are a rockstar as well!!!