Oh the irony!

Today we had our second bake sale benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation's Ride to Cure Diabetes and I'm happy to say it was a HUGE success!  Between our two JDRF Bake Sales we have raised $1,285...that's a LOT of cookies, cakes, pies and other baked goods, but as I told someone today, if you're going to eat crap you might as well eat crap for a cause!  The irony of raising money for diabetes research by selling food with high sugar and high carb content is not lost on me.

One of the greatest joys of these bake sales is meeting other people who have family members living with diabetes. 

Even though our family has people with Type 1 (my daughter) and Type 2 (my grandfather, grandmother, father -all now deceased- two of my brothers, and my best friend) it's still nice to meet others in the diabetic community and connect. The best part is watching them live...really LIVE...not letting this disease stop them from pursuing their dreams. 

These people inspire me to continue fundraising, educating and advocating, because realizing their dreams is so much harder with diabetes. My goal in life, my #1 priority, is to raise money to fund the cure or at the very least come up with better medications and treatment options for everyone living with diabetes, especially my daughter. 

Last week my dear friend died due to complications of T1 diabetes. I hear so many stories of people young and old who lost their lives due to this disease, I've seen my daughter close to death, and now I watch my beloved 5 year old granddaughter who has been tested and has the markers for diabetes and I say ENOUGH. 

I want to find a cure for this disease BEFORE it is triggered in Bella or a million other unsuspecting children's lives are irrevocable changed forever. I want to find a cure for my friend's children, Liam and Netty, who I love with all my heart. I want to honor the memory of all the children who were found dead in bed or died because their families, and even their doctors and school nurses failed to see the symptoms of diabetes prior to their tragic deaths. I want to continue the fight on behalf of every mother and father  who is pulled into the hallway of a hospital emergency room and told their child has diabetes. 

So the fight continues but make no mistake, a cure is out there and we WILL be the generation that finds it!

Rest in peace my friend

My friend died yesterday and I'm heart broken.

Steve and I have been friends for 30 years. We met when we both worked for the sheriff's department and we immediately became friends, as the years passed our friendship blossomed into a much deeper brother/sister type of relationship.

We supported each other through marriages and divorce, birth of children and death of parents. He teased me about being a bleeding heart, I teased him about having no heart...but he did...he had an amazing heart.

Steve can best be described in one word...SALTY.  He could - and did - cuss like a sailor, he was outspoken and at times crass.  He had the most hysterical dry sense of humor.  He didn't entertain fools and if he took a dislike to someone there was absolutely nothing that could change his mind, but if you were one of the lucky few he allowed into his heart, he loved you with every fiber of his being.

I was blessed to be one of the lucky ones.

Steve was a cop, one of the best I ever worked with although I often teased him about being a "shit magnet." He loved sitting with the "fucking rookies" (as he called them), telling tale after tale of his law enforcement career.  New guys would sit with their mouths gaping open in amazement, listening to all he'd done over the years.  That man was one of the best story tellers ever.

Every conversation I ever had with Steve started with the same four words, "Hey kid, what's up?" My answer was normally, "Nothing old man, what's up with you?" and usually at some point during the conversation I'd nag him about his diabetes.  He'd tell me to stop being a bitch and I'd tell him to stop being an asshole, then we'd both laugh and tell the other we loved them.

When Brandi was diagnosed with diabetes Steve became my go-to guy, my walking, talking diabetes encyclopedia.   During every conversation we've had over the last 8 years he ALWAYS ask how she was, how her numbers were, if she was staying on top of the disease.  More than once he told me to remind her of all his problems...which of course would lead to me telling him to get his head out of his ass and start taking care of himself...and the fight would be on again.

He gave me unflinching support and I gave him the same. 

Steve has been and will always be part of my life.  I miss him so badly I want to scream, but instead I'll honor his memory by continue what I've been doing...educate and advocate about this monster we call Diabetes. Steve knew the monster intimately, it almost killed him several times and caused part of his foot to be amputated.  He hated diabetes, hated the shots and finger pricks, the effect it had on his body and his spirit.

When I talked to Steve about wanting to participate in the Ride to Cure Diabetes he laughed at me, saying I'd lost my mind and reminding me I wasn't 20 years old. But when the laughter stopped and I explained why I NEEDED to ride, why I NEEDED to do everything I could to find a cure for him and Brandi, and after a moment of silence he told me he understood and thanked me, and from that moment on he supported me 100%.

I miss Steve, it hurts to know I'll never hear his grumpy voice or listen to his stories again.  I will love him and I'll miss him every single day for the rest of my life, and I imagine when it's my time to go and I reach the pearly gates my grumpy friend will be there saying, "Hey kid, what the hell took you so long."

Rest in peace my friend, I take comfort in knowing you'll have no more pain, no more needles and no more suffering.

Wuss or Warrior

I'm one of those irritating people that sets her mind on doing something and works her ass off to reach her goal. I don't believe in failure, it's not in my vocabulary, it's not something I have much experience with.

When I decided to do something I hurl myself towards the goal at top speed.  I'm focused, I confident and I have always been successful in my endeavors. It's not always easy, but I like hard work, I think it builds character...and anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I am quite a character.

I always have a plan, and a contingency plan...and a contingency plan for the contingency plan.  Above all, I'm prepared.

But now, for the first time ever, despite my gut wrenching desire and hard work I think I may not be able to reach my goal and I'm not happy about it...not one little bit.

It seems that I am no longer a spring chick who bounces back from injury, and to be be honest, that really pisses me off.  I've heard older people moan about aches and pains but never....EVER...imagined I'd be one of them. Yet every morning when I stand on my right foot a moan escapes my lips because of the pain.

The training ride I went on last Saturday made me face the fact that I'm no longer 20 years old, my throbbing foot telling me in no uncertain terms that I was DONE riding for the day...and it pissed me off.

I'm not a quitter...it's just not in my make-up.  So I iced my foot and decided I'd get up at the break of dawn and ride Sunday morning. The only problem was when I woke up in the middle of the night and tried to sit up every muscle in my body screamed. I lay down in bed, caught my breath, then c-r-a-w-l-e-d out of bed and to the bathroom for a hot shower.

Getting old sucks....it beats the hell out of the alternative... but it still sucks.

I may be committed to my goals, but I'm not stupid, so I listened to my body and didn't ride Sunday, and because I was still sore I didn't ride Monday, but every so often my gaze would drift to my bike and I longed to be back in the saddle, wind blowing through my hair, peddles turning as the miles flew by, instead of laying on the couch, foot packed in ice, so sore I could hardly move...feeling like a great big giant wuss.

The realization that riding 100 miles in a single day may be something my body cannot physically accomplish has me (to quote an old Millie Jackson song) depressed as shit. All the work...all the pain...all the damn shots...for what? To NOT accomplish what I set out to do? To NOT flip a great big giant bird to diabetes as I cross the finish line? To be beaten by this flipping disease AGAIN?

I talked to two special people about my feelings of failure; my coach Chuck, who has ridden the Ride to Cure twelve times...and our kinda sorta team captain Moira, who inspired me to join the ride this year. Both gave me excellent advise.

Chuck said the goal of the ride is to raise money for diabetes research...and I've done that. I've reached my goal so it doesn't matter if I ride 1 mile or 100...I've still succeeded in what I set out to do. He's not trying to deter me from riding...not at all, he's just being truthful about the pitfalls of riding while injured.

Moira had similar advise, adding the next time I go riding I shouldn't worry about speed or miles, I should just experience the joy of riding, because in the end we'll either ride the 100 miles or we won't, but no matter how far I ride it will be an amazing and beautiful experience crossing the finish line...if I let it be. She pointed out the importance of savoring our mission...to raise money to find a CURE for diabetes...to work together as a team...making a better future for our children. Then she reminded me of what I told her many times last year...the ride isn't about doing the 100 miles, it's about trying our hardest, giving our all the day of the ride, but knowing no matter how far we ride we are warriors.

That Moira is one wise woman.

So here's what I'm going to do....

I'm going to get on my bike every chance I have between now and August 17th and I'm going to train my ass off, and on the day of the ride I'm going to ride as far as the weather and my injuries allow me to ride.  It may be 1 mile...or 50 miles...or all 100 miles, but however long it is I WILL cross that finish line with a smile on my face because I gave this ride 110%, and that's all anyone can do.

And I hope that someone captures that moment on film, because if you look beyond the big smile and the tears I know will be streaming down my face, you'll see my hand up in the air...flipping diabetes a great big freaking bird.

Bella

Bella is being admitted to St. Louis Children's Hospital. They are still running test but believe she has developed Type 1 Diabetes like her mommy due to two high blood sugar readings, excessive thirst and frequent urination. 

The doctor said because we were educated and vigilant in our watch for symptoms we caught it very early...which is great.  

Brandi was 14 when she was diagnosed so caring for a 5 year old with Type 1 will be a new experience, but I know Brandi and I have all of our D-Families that will share their knowledge with us. 

Bella's actually taking it like a champ and asked if I was going to ride and walk for her now too. 

Yes Bella, I'll ride for you. 

**********************************************

The above was written while we were waiting for Bella to be taken to her hospital room. Her IV was inserted, a room was ready and we were ready to begin our second of "Diabetic Bootcamp."

I was devastated but resigned to the diagnoses, Brandi was in denial, saying she didn't believe Bella was diabetic. I understood how she felt, I went through the same thing 8 years ago when she was laying in the hospital bed after being diagnosed, and Bella was...I guess chatty would be the best way to describe her. 

"Mama, do I have diabetes?"

"Yes honey, the doctor thinks you do."

"Am I Type 1?"

"Yes baby, you are."

"Am I like my mommy?"

"I think so baby."

"Can I have my own blood checker?"

"Yes sweetie, you may have your own and we'll keep it in a special bag with your supplies."

Bella and I talked about diabetes and I asked her if she understood what is was...she did. We discussed checking her blood sugar before she ate and taking shots like her mom. We looked at cool medical alerts for kids...I was surprised how well Bella was adjusting, but then it dawned on me that diabetes has been a part of her life since conception. All of this craziness was normal for her. 

Then a miracle happened. The doctor came in and td us the lab results were back and she didn't have diabetes, but she said she did have the markers and would most likely develop it at some point. She said the two false highs were probably due to something on her skin or the alcohol not evaporating all the way, but her A1C and blood serum test were perfect. 

She encouraged us to remain vigilant and get her checked any time she showed high blood sugar levels because at some point diabetes will probably invade her life. 

I cried happy tears but Bella wasn't happy. She said it was because she wanted me to ride for her. 

Oh my dear child, I DO ride for you and every other person who may one day develop diabetes, but for now we've been granted a reprieve and my soul is singing with joy. 

Thank You!!!

Our big Ride to Cure Bake Sale has come and gone, and Elma and I want to extend our sincerest thanks to everyone who helped make it a HUGE success!

Nancy Boesch, Kelly Johnston, Karen Chotrow, Joyce Oakley, Laura Bunch Stroup, Charlie Parrott,  Ashley Shannon, Courtney Massey, Gina Harris (and daughters) Billie Hawkins, Vanessa Roman, Dorothy Boehm, Darleen Trumbo, Marilynn Shaver, Cindy Boehm, Sari Marie Rourke....thank you for the wonderful baked goods you made and donated to our sale. Hopefully I remembered everyone!

Diane Stecher, Lynda Harris, Mom Boehm, Mom Oakley, Marilynn Shaver, Gary Daughtery, Milton Boehm, Darlene Trumbo and Little Miss Bella...thank you for all showing up and helping with the event.

Courtney Jean the Flower Queen aka my amazingly talented niece Courtney Massey, as always you were a hit with your balloon creations. Thank you for not only spending the entire day away from your family to help our cause, but also for donating all your tips to our ride.

Karen of Karen's Kwik Mart...we owe you a HUGE debt of gratitude for allowing us to take over your parking lot for our sale.  If you're in the Barnhart area please patronize her store.

And finally, to everyone who heard about our bake sale and made the effort to come buy some of our goodies....THANK YOU!

We made over $600 at our bake sale, which means I have now met my goal and can participate in the Ride to Cure. We're still planning more fundraisers to help Elma reach her goal, the next being another bake sale with even more great offerings on June 28th from 10 am - 7 pm at the Wal-Mart located at 2201 Michigan Avenue in Arnold, MO.

I deeply appreciate everyone who has supported me in my Ride to Cure Diabetes, it's because of your generosity I get to fulfill my dream of participating in the Ride to Cure.  If anyone else would like to show their support I respectfully ask that you do it by sponsoring Elma's ride. She's been training every single day for months for this ride, and it would be a travesty if she wasn't able to get enough donations to participate.  If you click the link below it will take you to Elma's Ride to Cure participant's page.

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR/Ride/JDRFNationalRides?px=1380024&pg=personal&fr_id=2244

Thank you all again for your love and support and Elma and I set out to kick diabetes ass!

Nervous

I'm laying in bed unable to sleep, watching each minute pass silently on the clock, fighting back a feeling of panic.

There are 10 weeks and 5 days until the Ride to Cure Diabetes, but only 4 weeks until Elma and I have to make the final decision whether we'll have to drop out of the ride because we haven't been able to raise the minimum $2000 in donations each participant is required to raise. 

I still need to raise $500, which may not seem like much, but it's about $425 more than I have. I'm a 9-1-1 dispatcher, and in general we make barely enough to keep a roof over our heads and food in our family's bellies. 

In 5 hours Elma and I are having a Ride to Cure bake sale, the money we make will be divided between our individual rides, which is only fair since she's worked as hard on the preparation as I have. 

I hope all our friends in the area will come show their support. We have lots of things to offer with prices ranging from 25 cents to $10. 

One of my D-Mom friends recommended that I also have a "Virtual Bake Sale" for all my friends and family who would like to help our fundraiser be a success even though they can't physically attend...so that's what I'm going to do. 

Below is a price list for my virtual bake sale, if you want to help me be able to participate in the Ride to Cure just pick out what you would have bought if you could, then donate that amount at my Ride to Cure participant's page. I'll post a link at the bottom of this page. The best part of participating in a virtual bake sale? NO CALORIES!!!

Menu

2 cookies .....$1

1 dozen cookies....$5

1 brownie.......$1

A pan of brownies. $10

Mini strawberry cheesecakes. $2

An entire cheesecake...$10

Gooey Butter Cakes...$10

Chocolate covered pretzels. $2

1 cupcake....$1.25

6 cupcakes ....$5.00

1 pie..........$8.00

Thanks for any support you can give. 

http://www2.jdrf.org/site/TR/Ride/JDRFNationalRides?px=1378497&pg=personal&fr_id=2244 

Bake Sale!

If you live in the St. Louis area I hope you'll join us for our bake sale benefitting our Ride to Cure Diabetes.

Sunday, June 2nd

9 am - ???

Karen's Kwik Mart

7004 Monticello 

Barnhart, MO

In addition to the normal bake sale goodies we have several items which are 100% Gluten free.  The majority of items will also have their carbs listed in order to allow all Type 1 diabetics adjust their insulin dose.