Food for Thought

I am not a stupid person, but from time to time I have been known to do some incredibly dumb things.  Last night is a perfect example.

Every since I decided to do my Dieting for a D.A.D. fundraiser I have been fixated on food...okay, obsessed is probably a more accurate word because I think I have eaten anything that didn't run away screaming in terror.

I tried to rationalize my behavior by telling myself it was perfectly natural to want to taste all my favorite foods (and I do mean ALL my favorite foods) before I started the diet. Of course there was that annoying little voice in my head saying, "Really...because you honestly think you are NEVER going to be able to eat anything you like again?"  Then I imagined this wee, tiny voice shaking it's head, heaving a long dramatic sigh and going back to the far recesses of my brain muttering "What an IDIOT" the entire way.

So I ate.....

and I ate...

then I ate some more...

and I washed it all down with my beloved Coke.

Last night I walked into work with enough food to feed my entire crew, but I wasn't sharing, no way no how.  This was MY food, the last time I would be tasting it for a very long time.  I brought in leftovers from Thursday's dinner; homemade chicken fingers (from a boneless skinless chicken breast), double dipped in flour then fried to a beautiful golden brown. Don't judge, I tried to be healthy, really I did...did you not see the part about them being skinless?

Anyway...

Since this was my self proclaimed grazing night I decided to have them just the way I like them, topped with steaming hot homemade milk gravy.

Did I mention the chicken breast were proceeded by three Gus pretzels (a St. Louis icon in fresh pretzels)? I didn't...oh well I did...and they were goooood...nice and salty just the way I like them!

Of course the salty pretzels made me very thirsty...good thing I stopped and picked up that 44 oz frozen Coke.   Awww...sweet nectar of the Gods!

Dinner was followed closely by desert...jelly beans...LOTS of beautiful, bright, happy looking jelly beans.  In truth, I don't really like jelly beans too much, but did that stop me...HELL NO! Those cheerful clumps of jelled sugar started screaming my name from the minute I walked in the store.  Actually, the were a bit annoying...buy ME...eat ME...I'm telling you the sugary bastards deserved to die!

About half way through my dinner I got a horrible brain freeze from the frozen Coke...the icy pain as it froze my throat felt like a hundred needles were stuck in my esophagus. Yep, it was a solid 8 on the brain/throat freeze scale so I did the only thing I could think to do...I drank a regular Coke to wash it down and relieve the pain.  Don't laugh...I was at work and was responsible for saving lives.  Hard to do that when you're dying of a brain freeze!

Well friends, as they say...Karma's a bitch.

About half way through my shift (hanging my head in shame because I didn't really eat all that food in the first 6 hours of work...it was more like the first 2 hours)...anyway, halfway through my shift the food decided I had to pay for the savage way I devoured it.  It wasn't pretty...it wasn't quick...and it certainly wasn't fun...and because I like you I won't give any more details.

I think I've learned my lesson...MODERATION...and by that I don't mean take short breaks as I eat everything in sight. 

Now that I have regained my senses (and lost 5 pounds in about 15 minutes) I realize that I will have chicken fingers again, just not on a weekly basis. I'll have gravy, and biscuits, and I WILL have Coke...but not every day and not huge servings.

I won't however, have jelly beans...because I really do think they're kind of gross.