My Beliefs

I am known for being outspoken…and I am, but if something does not directly affect me or my family I try my hardest to keep my mouth shut until I’m asked for my opinion. Then, depending on the circumstance, I often ask, “Do you want to know what I REALLY think or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?”

Like most people I have an opinion on just about everything, unlike a great deal of people I try not to share those opinions unless I have educated myself enough to make an informed statement.  I think it’s important to distance yourself from the situation; to look at all sides, to try to understand the views of the opposition – even if you don’t agree with them.  I believe in acting, not reacting. I believe in freedom of speech, freedom of religion and equal rights for EVERYONE.

People have a right to their opinions, they have a right to voice their opinions, they even have a right to act like little children, stamp their feet, have temper tantrums and call each other names.  I don’t like it, I won’t be a part of it, but in the United States we have a constitutional right to free speech.

I belong to a group whose “leader” is being attacked, being called terrible names and who is having many false accusations hurled at him.  I did my research before joining this group, I educated myself, I made an informed decision.  Do I agree with every single thing this person has said? Of course not, but I also don’t agree with everything my parents, siblings, or friends say.  We agree to disagree and move on, our relationship secure because of the love and respect we have for each other.

I have friends who are part of the other group, they were my friends before all this nonsense started and they will remain my friends long after it’s over. We have not discussed the situation, nor will we discuss it because it has no bearing on OUR friendship. We have an unspoken agreement to agree to disagree because that’s the mature way to behave. NO ONE will tell me whom I can and can’t be friends with, whose Facebook page I can “like” or whom I can associate with in my “real” life.

I’m a grown up, I have lived on my own, worked my way through college and supported myself since I was 18 years old. I’ve made many mistakes during the years but I’ve learned from them and tried my hardest not to repeat the behavior.

I have a past, so do you…everybody does. I’ve done some tremendously stupid things in my life and paid a heavy price for them. Luckily none of these ever resulted in my being thrown in jail…but some could have. I have hurt people with some of my actions, never intentionally but that doesn’t excuse the behavior.  Some of these things I would undo if I could, others I would not because the lessons I learned were necessary so I could grow as a person. I’m not perfect, I’ve never claimed to be perfect, and I know as hard as I try not to I will make more mistakes throughout my life.

Before Milton and I got married I made him sit down in a chair and I told him every single thing from my past I could think of, every person I’d been intimate with, every lie I’d told, every bad thing I could remember about myself. I wasn’t doing it to try to dissuade him from marrying me, I just wanted to lay it all out on the table so he could make an informed decision and so there would be no surprises for him down the road. He smiled when I was done, thanked me for my honesty and assured me none of it mattered, and in our 7 years of marriage he has not mentioned any of what I told him again. Not because he doesn’t remember, but because it doesn’t matter.  I am no longer that person, I’d sought out the people I hurt and asked for forgiveness, I’d move on.

I respect other’s right to their opinions and beliefs even if I don’t share them. I am pro-choice not because I believe in abortion but because I feel no one has a right to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body. 

I support the gay and lesbian community and believe they should have the legal right to marry. If God has a problem with their choice in a life partner then He can take it up with them.  Personally I think if you can find one person in this screwed up, hate filled world who loves you, TRULY loves you, then it shouldn’t matter if they are white, black, Hispanic, or purple, male or female…just be happy that you found them because true love is a rare and beautiful thing.

I have friends who are Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Jewish, atheist and agnostic. I am a Christian, that is the faith that is closest to my beliefs, but I also respect my friend’s beliefs and have made every effort to honor them.

I know this blog may seem “preachy” but I don’t understand all the discord that has been all over Facebook lately. If you don’t like somebody stop being their friend. If somebody has wronged you then take it up with that person…don’t make it your life’s mission to hurt them.  If people put 1/10 of the energy they use to make people miserable to make others happy this would be a much better world for everyone.

We all need to play nice, be respectful of each other, and get along.