Well, it's been quite a week.
First, and most importantly the big news for our family is the courts have finally approved our petition to have Brandi and I named as co-guardians for my granddaughter Bella and her biological father no longer as any legal rights. Before anyone gets in an uproar I want to let you know it was HIS request to terminate his parental rights...a decision we all agree is in Bella's best interest even though our reason is very much different from his.
This has been a long and arduous task. Hiring a lawyer to write and file the petition, having it denied by they courts without so much as appearing before the judge to plead our case...then suddenly receiving a letter saying the judge changed his mind and would consider our request.
Bella has always lived in my home and due to Brandi's declining health I have always been her primary caregiver, however the judge made it clear during our first hearing that we were going to have no special treatment and there would be lots of hoops to jump through...so we jumped. There were interviews, home inspections, criminal histories. Our life was looked at under a microscope by people whose only job was to judge if I was a good enough person to take care of Bella.
Last Friday was our big court date and I was nervous...REALLY nervous. We were not told the findings of any of the investigations done on our family and even though I knew Bella was safe in my care I could only hope all the agencies involved realized the same thing. Brandi was very ill that day, much to sick to go to court and she was pretty upset. I told her not to worry, the whole reason we were jumping through all these hoops was because of her health...but inside my heart filled with dread. CRAP... Brandi wasn't going to be sitting with me in court, no show of solidarity and unity for the judge to see!
When our case was finally called I stood before the judge and was sworn to tell the truth before I was asked to sit and answer some questions from the court. Most of the questions were pretty cut and dry; our address, how long Bella had lived there, yada, yada, yada...but then the judge asked me to explain to him why we had filed this unique petition instead of me just petitioning to adopt Bella.
I explained to him that Brandi was a wonderful mother who was completely devoted to her child and has done nothing more than love, protect, cherish and provide for her daughter to the best of her ability. It was never our intent to remove Brandi's rights, just to add me as a legal guardian for the times when Brandi is too sick to carry out her parental duties.
I was then asked to explain Brandi's health problems to the court. I started out well, strong voiced, shoulder's back, I began naming her medical conditions, explaining how Type 1 diabetes with insulin resistance had damaged her body. I did well recounting her hospitalizations, how hard she's fought to live...and then I started talking about the day we were told she needed a pancreas transplant and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I paused for a moment trying to keep the dam of tears closed, I took a deep breath and asked the judge for just a moment to compose myself, but the judge told me he had heard enough, that it was obvious my daughter was quite critically ill.
Next the guardian ad litem was brought in to address the court. For those of you not familiar with a Guardian Ad Litem it is a person appointed by the court as a representative of the best interest of the child in court cases...and let me tell you, they give nothing away. Pleasant, professional, courteous...and you have no idea what they're thinking!
Our G.A.L. stood before the judge and started telling of her history with our family, how she'd been involved with us for three years since the time Brandi originally petitioned for custody of Bella.
She spoke of Brandi's love of Bella and how even though she was sick she was like a mother bear protecting her cub. She spoke of my love for Bella and how I had proven my devotion to her since the day she was born. She spoke of our entire family unit and how we are in fact several people making up 1 strong unit. She told the judge how well behaved and respectful Bella was and how she was obviously happy and well adjusted. She absolutely gave us a glowing recommendation and told the judge it would be a travesty if our petition was not approved.
Next they discussed the finding of the home study and I was told it gave basically the same information the judge had just heard from the G.A.L. In short...we passed with flying colors.
So on Friday, March 29th Brandi and I legally became Bella's co-guardians and the man who is her biological father had all parental rights stripped by the court. It was as if a giant weight was lifted from my shoulders, no one can ever take Bella from us now.
After the ruling in our favor I waited in the hallway outside the court room for my attorney, and that's when a truly amazing thing happened.
As cases were heard and the people left the court room each person came up and told me how much hearing our family's story affected them. One woman told me she was inspired to drop her case against a family member because she now realized what a "piece of piddly ass bull-shit" it all really was and wanted to make amends and have their family work together as our family obviously was. Lawyer's came up to offer their support and prayers, people asked if they could give me a hug...one woman told me there wasn't a dry eye in the room as I spoke.
I was speechless.
So now that we have achieved peace of mind we can focus on other things, regular things...non life altering things. We are finally able to have a little normalcy in our lives, and that's something we don't get very much of.
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