Angel Unaware

Sometimes in your life a person reaches out to you when your overwhelmed and struggling with life's obstacles and a beautiful friendship is born.  This is exactly what happened between me and my beloved friend Moira McCarthy Stanford.

I'd never heard of Moira prior to last year, which is pretty amazing in itself because if your involved in diabetes advocacy in even the smallest way her name is going to come up. Moira is involved in EVERYTHING that has to do with research, fundraising and advocacy...but I was living in a bubble that consisted of only work, raising Bella, and keeping my daughter alive and had never heard of her.

If I'm completely honest I have to admit that I don't even remember why we started talking, but I do remember that she initiated the contact during one of Brandi's many hospitalizations. We belong to several of the same diabetes groups on Facebook and she read about our struggles. She wrote and made it clear that I could call, text or message anytime, day or night. She was there for me and my family. She made me feel not so alone. That's a pretty important thing to know when your daughter is at death's door.

Last year was by far the worse our family has ever had as far as Brandi's health. She was in the hospital more than she was home, diabetes was trying it's best to kill her, we discovered she was having hundreds of absence seizures a day, her weight dropped to a dangerously low 93 lbs...but the worse part was the arguments Brandi and I were having. She hated how I tried to micro-manage her diabetes and I hated that she wouldn't just let me do what I do best...control her life so I could keep her alive.

Even after we'd been talking for a few weeks I still didn't realize "who" my friend Moira was, as far as I was concerned she was just another D-Mom who was fighting the same battle we all were...trying to keep her kid alive. One night in the hospital I decided to read her blog and found that she had survived what I was smack dab in the middle of...being the mother of a young adult with diabetes.  Not only was she surviving it but she was excelling at it!

Moira has an amazing list of accomplishments; she has served as New England JDRF Chapter President, as Chairmom of Children's Congress 2005, National Chair of Grass Roots Advocacy, Volunteer of the Year in 2007 and as national Outreach Chair. She works as a contributing editor for SKI Magazine and as winter sports editor of the Boston Herald. She formerly worked for the New York Times. She is the author of five books...no make that SIX books, her newest book "Raising Teens with Diabetes: A Parent Survival Guide" is being released in June. All this is impressive and deserves my respect...but that's not why I love her.

I love Moira because she has taught me through her actions, that it's okay to let go. It's okay to let your "adult child" manage their disease. It's hard...a real struggle at times, but it's what we spent years training them to do. She taught me that sometimes Brandi will make mistakes in her treatment, but that's how she will learn. She taught me that sometimes I need to keep quiet in order for Brandi to hear me, that actions speak louder than words, and to have faith in my child.

You know what...she was absolutely right!

I've backed off nagging at Brandi to check her blood sugar all the time, and found that she checks it on her own.  I don't monitor every morsel Brandi puts in her mouth...and found that she makes better food choices without my prodding.  Brandi and I are at a much better place in our relationship now than we were a year ago. Although she will always be my baby, I accept that she's no longer a child and treat her as an adult.

Moira inspired me in other ways as well. I take time for myself now, knowing that Brandi is staying on top of her diabetes management. It doesn't sound like much but for someone who had NO life outside of work and taking care of her sick kid it's quite an accomplishment. 

She inspired me to do more volunteering at our JDRF Chapter, and in doing so I've met some AMAZING people (special shout out to Linda Short, another D-Mom I adore), and after watching her training journey and debut Ride to Cure Diabetes last year, she inspired me to get my butt off the couch, get a bike and start training so I can ride next to her in this years Ride to Cure and raise thousands of dollars for diabetes research and hopefully a CURE!

Today Moira told me that her publisher is giving her an advance copy of her new book to raffle of to anyone who donates $10 to her Ride to Cure. Here's a link to learn all the details:

http://despitediabetes.com/win-a-copy-of-my-new-book-two-months-before-release-the-one-where-i-hope-youll-try-and-share/

I hope you'll click on the link and donate $10 to her ride, that's right...I'm asking you to donate to HER ride instead of mine (although donations to both are greatly appreciated), get your name in the drawing to win her new book, I know I am.

And Moira, if you're reading this please know how much you are loved, not just by me but by thousands of other parents who are struggling with their child's diabetes. You are like a beacon in the dark to us, and our lives are better because you are in it.

I love you my friend.